Here's an excellent article that touched on a little bit of what we discussed today:
Exterminate the “Nag Bug”! The Gentle Virtue of Self-Control
I really enjoyed this quote towards the end of the article:
"The great medieval mystic, Bernard of Clairvaux, taught that there are four levels of love: Love of self for self’s sake, love of God (and others) for self’s sake, love of God (and others) for their own sake, and love of self for God’s sake.
I realized that, to love someone for his own sake (rather than what I need from that person), is a liberating choice. It keeps me from trying to control another human being . . . and keeps my focus on how I can be a blessing to the one I love, rather than one more problem to manage. Even if the other person never changes (a real possibility), this approach minimizes the effect of the problem in the marriage, and on the family. It also gives God a chance to work in the heart of the other person."